I have been dreading the day but knew it would be here soon. But all summer I could feel it coming. First is started with a weakening around the knees and then a soft thin spot on my boney but. I tried to ignore it but in the back of my mind I knew that all good things must come to an end and then it happened. I knelt down to pick up my car keys and "RIP"! A slight hole in the knee! Another favorite pair of jeans gone. These aren't just any jeans either. They are the pair that you know you look good in. The kind that fit your curves just right and in my case make me look like I actually have hips and a but. The kind that are broken in and meet your every need that you ever had from a good pair of jeans. I don't know who came up with the low rise boot cut with the two tone thread color but whoever did was sent by angels. Yes some say that diamonds are a girls best friend but I beg to differ. I think it is a magical pair of jeans.
You women know what I am talking about. You search store after store after store. Trying on the skinny jean, the flare jean, the distressed jean, the blue jean, the washed jean, the dark navy jean. You look for hipster, boot cut, low rise, boyfriend, straight leg. The pockets with white thread, blue thread, buttons, rhinestones, and stitching patterns. The long, the short, the regular. You ask yourself, "Will I wear these jeans with heels? Will I wear these jeans with flip flops?" They must be so versatile. Will they look great with a hoodie and sneakers but then when I don't have time to wash them can I dress them up with heels and a cute classy top? THERE IS SO MUCH PRESSURE!!
And so you keep on searching the mall, checking for color first, then cut, then price tag. You try on the cheap ones the expensive ones and the in between ones, praying that the expensive ones aren't it. You continue trying one pair after another, after anotherand with every pair you try on you must readjust and tuck the garments back down to your knees and zip them up and fix your shirt and then your hair and prepare yourself for the mirror as if you had been in them all day. You check the length, and then the side shot and then the deciding factor shot, the biggest dressing room moment.... the but check. You akwardly turn your torso backwards to the mirror while keeping your hips pointed forward and during this crisis that would appear to men to be a Yoga exercise routine, you try and check out your rear and see what everyone else looks at when your back is turned. Somehow we think that by turning at this weird angle our rear will look perfectly normal and that this is how it will always be looked at. You hit every store, even the ones for young 14 year old girls and irronically the only ones you like are the ones with the highest price tag and you ask yourself, "What in the H--- does the $88.00 jeans have that the $19.99 ones on the clearance rack don't!? Are they not the same material with the same similar fabric layout"? Do they not both have functioning pockets in the front and the back? Are they not both blue and the right size and then you decide, No! No, they aren't the same jeans and you need the $88.00 jeans and it takes all your will power to walk out of the store because the one pair that fits you right and makes your but look cute and your legs look slim and your man turn his head when you walk by him are too much for your checkbook and so you are so proud of yourself and how strong you were.
So you go home that night and you can't quit thinking about those jeans and you begin to justify spending the $88.00 because the right pair of jeans do so much more than cover you up and keep you modest. They must be a great quality to endure all that you put them through and they must make you feel attractive, youthful, sexy and beautiful with an instant boost of confidence in each step because you know that whatever magic the mass producing Tailor who sewed them did was worth every penny. And if any of you even pretend for a minute you don't think about this, you are lying to yourselves and I know deep down that you really understand why I did the unthinkable today.
Yes I didn't just buy one pair of ridiculously expensive, unrealistically priced and loaded with little fraying distressed marks all over them, which made them looked used pair of jeans but I bought TWO OF THEM! AAAAAAhhhhhh! What was I thinking? Not one but two!
Yes, I got the coupon this morning and printed it at work with toner that isn't even for my personal use. I saw the buy one pair and get one half off. And I totally had control over that but then the e-mail coupon gave me $25.00 off my next purchase which was just too much. I turned to my little ten key calculator and ran some quick numbers and I decided that this was a bargain. It was a deal that overall was still too overpriced for a pair of jeans. But I broke down, I gave in and I spent my lunch break speeding to the mall and saw this moment as the high lite of my week. The moment in which I would make the big purchase and all this emotion is triggered by this so called fabric called "denim" that if correctly cut and tailored can make a girl feel so good, so irresistible and so confident all at the same time. Would I do it again? I would tell you no, but then I would be lying through my teeth. Yes! Yes, I would and it was so worth it. Every dime and I will wear them for the next week straight. So until my boney but and knees wear holes in these pair I am safe and I will have one more year of sanity because there is no greater comfort from something so materialistic then the perfect pair of jeans!
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
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